Co Parenting After a Divorce: Everything You Need to Know
Posted on June 14, 2017
While no one wishes to ever get divorced, divorces still happen all of the time. Divorces exist commonly in the United States for plenty of reasons. Perhaps a couple married too soon. Maybe circumstances came up that were unpredictable at the start. Regardless, there is nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to getting divorced. While many worked their way into accepting that, many also struggle with how to approach raising their children after getting divorced. Divorces can be tricky, as spouses can grow angry towards each other, and that anger can spill over towards the children. Spouses may find themselves wishing the other spouse does not ever see the children. However, it remains vital that everyone involved gets to be happy. Co parenting works as an option for that.
You may wonder how after a divorce everyone could possibly be happy. Divorces work usually in messy ways, with no one wanting their spouses to get the upper hand. Children fall into the picture as people that both sides want the custody of, usually. In this scenario, what must be remembered is that the children’s happiness comes first. While you may not know how to put it first, Co Parenting exists as a strong option to make that happen. So what is Co Parenting? Let’s take a look.Co Parenting After a Divorce: Everything You Need to Know What is Co Parenting?
While many spouses attempt to separate the children from the other spouse after a divorce, by co parenting you agree to split the duties of watching the children. That means both sides get to see the children on a regular basis, and neither side gets to say to the other side that the children are theirs, not both of yours. This means should one side re-marry, that marriage must be accepted by the other side so that the children continue to grow up in a nurturing environment. Simply put, while the children may live with one side rather than the other, both sides get to see the children an ample amount. Neither side stops the children from seeing the other side regularly, and everyone works together to ensure everyone remains happy.
The idea of Co Parenting certainly sounds ideal in theory, but you may find yourself upset with your spouse. Part of your thinking may include wanting to get back at your spouse. Perhaps you do not feel your spouse deserves to see the children.Why is Co Parenting Best for Me?
Remember, children grow up in the best way when they have two parents to lean on. You may have fought over plenty of things with your spouse, and you may still be fighting over those things. However, your battles are not your children”s battles. Your children did not ask for you to get divorced, nor do they hold grudges against either side. As long as both sides caused the divorce to happen, neither side should be unable to see the children enough times. Your problems must not turn into your children’s problems, as they remain growing and looking to be happy. To them, your divorce serves as enough adversity for them to handle. If you find yourself concerned about how they will deal with the divorce, Co Parenting works as an option to make life easiest on them.
Sure they will not see their parents interacting in the same way they did before. No, they will not see their parents living under the same roof. However, they will see both parents as much as they want to, and they will believe you to respect each other whether that is the case or not. You will each get to see your children as much as you would like, and everyone ends up with what they want.What if I feel Unable to Handle Co Parenting?
Perhaps your divorce was particularly messy, and you do not feel capable of handling co parenting. Maybe you feel your ex-spouse does not deserve the happiness co parenting affords everyone involved. In these cases, you may wish to explore options to help you get to where you need to be. Classes on the act of parenting together despite being divorced exist to help you through the process. You and your ex can work out the specific problems regarding your children in joint therapy, for another example.
Remember, your children’s happiness comes first, and that’s why you would choose the option of parenting together after a divorce. When push comes to shove, a simple look at how your children progressed despite the divorce should provide evidence enough to remind you why you chose the option.
While it may feel difficult to go through with, happiness comes first. Your children will thank you for making it easiest on them. In the end, everyone wins and you get to be happy knowing your children are too.